According to sexologist Carol Queen, Ph.D., a person who wants a romantic connection but doesn’t feel romantic attraction to others is said to be cupid romantic. Under the general term “aromantic,” which describes persons who have little to no romantic interest in others, the term “kalosromantic,” which is also often used, is regarded as a micro-label. People with a love of romance are frequently romantically inclined, but this isn’t always the case.
Understanding the distinction between sexual orientation and romantic orientation is crucial to comprehending the cupioromantic experience. They can coexist, but Queen argues that they are not the same. Who you find sexually attractive is the main factor in sexual orientation (heterosexual, bisexual, etc).
A person can also be asexual, in which case they have very little or no sexual interest in other people. Who you are romantically interested in is the main emphasis of romantic orientation (heteroromantic, biromantic, etc.). A person can also be aromantic or have very little to no romantic attraction to others.
A romantic orientation called cupidoromanticism focuses on romantic attraction, or the intense desire to have a romantic relationship with someone you adore. According to Queen, a common misperception is that someone must have a romantic attraction or romantic desire for another person in order to be in or seek out a romantic relationship. Cupioromanticism fills the gap.
Signs that you might be a romantic.
Theoretically, a cupioromantic person does not feel romantic attraction to others, however, depending on the individual, this may manifest in numerous ways. The following list of signs may indicate that you or someone you know is cupioromantic, but not all cupioromantics will exhibit all of these symptoms. As you proceed on your journey of self-discovery, just take what resonates with you or seems right for you and leave the rest.
1. You yearn for romantic benefits but don’t desire attention
If you crave the romantic elements of a relationship, such as emotional intimacy, passion, and a strong need for closeness, you may be cupioromantic. But according to Dainis Graveris, a sex educator and the creator of Sexual Alpha, you don’t have these love impulses for someone else.
2. You don’t experience crushes.
Have you ever observed that you are frequently the odd one out when several of your pals have crushes on someone? It can imply that you have a romantic bent.
When it comes to cupidomantic traits, you’ll notice that you don’t develop crushes on someone the way other people do.
You’ll start to ponder what makes the person unique, but you could have trouble coming up with an explanation. You will continue to value them for who they are, and this does not minimize that.
3. You are willing to date, but you actively avoid the thought.
If you’ve considered (or even attempted) dating other people, you may be cupioromantic; yet, “falling in love” with them may not actually happen for you or may leave you with a bad taste in your mouth.
4. Romantic gestures turn people away.
You don’t want (or could) experience romantic sentiments in a relationship. According to Graveris, when they come from another person, these gestures are meaningless to you and could even turn you off.
5. You are typically not available emotionally
Being emotionally open in a love relationship may be challenging for the person. You won’t be able to relate to your spouse, making it difficult for you to identify with them when they express their sentiments and emotions.
Additionally, since you don’t know what to anticipate, it will be difficult for you to share yours with them. Because of this, you choose to hold onto yours, which makes you more emotionally unavailable in a relationship.
In a relationship, clingy
Because cupioromantics are not romantically attached, they would struggle in a relationship to love their spouse for who they are. This does not exclude them from committing to or being dedicated to any relationship, though.
A cupioromantic can make a relationship strong, but only if their partners accept and treat them as a result of their oddity.